casey&alicia

This was a good week. Probably made better by the stark contrast to last week’s struggles and disappointments. When you’ve got months of anticipation invested into a single meeting that goes poorly, there are some challenges.

But I’m happy to report that there is no crisis of faith, or of any other nature. There is actually sweet relief in remembering that the world still spins, the sun still rises, and God still sits on the throne – even if we’re to wade through therapy/intervention stuff without the help of our local school district {or, you know, any funding}. I wondered how I’d feel if the worst-case scenario happened {I’m just an optimist that way} – and I asked {pleaded with?} God to sustain me through disappointment without allowing me to lose my footing. To help me see the value of the last few months of reading, preparing, and essentially waiting, even if after the big meeting/decision, we were back to the drawing board. To give me the wisdom and faith to know that our kid’s ability to thrive and progress doesn’t depend on this team of specialists, but on the One who created her and loves her so, so dearly.

And He did.. He answered.

But not sheepishly. He answered in such a way that my mind was flooded {overwhelmed?} with reasons to thank him, and know that he means this for good. That doesn’t always happen for me. Sometimes I muddle through self-pity, basking in my own {sinful} disappointment, and it takes a kindly person who knows me well to… not let me linger in the murk {ahem, Casey}.

As I was saying. My mind was flooded. This detour in life {hah!} has created opportunity to build relationships with people we never would’ve otherwise known very well. It’s given us a sense of heartfelt and knowing compassion for others in similar situations. It’s caused us to pause, reflect, and re-examine so many of our motivations. It’s rooted out sin. It’s made me love Casey more. It’s taught us a whole new language, and given us so much insight into the kid God has entrusted to us. It’s caused us to marvel at the timing in it all – we found out while she is so, so young. And here, surrounded by family and resources. It might’ve come at a confusing time – feeling just on the verge of launching into ministry – but how much harder would it have been to find out and leave the field abruptly to get answers or help?

And another thing. We both kind of laugh about it. I’ve written about it before. But we’re getting better at living in seasons of waiting.. more comfortable anyway. We’ve had some practice at it these last couple of years, and it almost feels normal. It hasn’t robbed us of our ambition or motivation, but rather stripped away some of our attachment to timing, or a smooth and easy path. It’s still not what I’d chose, but I can feel little seeds of patience planting in my eager-to-know-what’s-next-and-have-everything-settled-always-and-quickly-please heart. Seeds of patience, seeds of trust. Or sprouts germinating? Or something? I’m not very agricultural, truth be told. Don’t let the barn fool you.

((Here’s where the pictures start))

So like I said. This was a good week.

Arthur is proving that it isn’t too late to learn tough skills. Like how to have independent play time in a place and duration of his parent’s choosing. Poor neglected second kid – he had a tumultuous first year, and then I went back to work… so he hasn’t had the same structure or attention his big sister did. Or practice at important skills. But like I said – not too late!

And he ate shrimp pasta for breakfast one day this week. At his own request. Proving again that he is thoroughly Casey’s son.

We started implementing occupational therapy tricks we’ve learned as a more regular part of Penelope’s day. We’ve noticed such a difference in her ability to communicate, process info, and complete tasks she often struggles with. Without shutting down {or melting down, which is the next step}. It’s been incredibly encouraging – even though the “sensory diet” kinds of things we’re doing sound completely batty. If you don’t believe me, just google “sensory diet.” Yes, we are those parents. And we don’t care who knows it.

The blanket remains from a burrito/swaddle kind of game… we just do things like that in between her normal day-to-day kid stuff. And she is responding so, so, so well to it.

….and I finally obtained a camera bag that I really like. I’ll spare you my impossibly picky list of qualifications, and just tell you that I found one that’s not perfect, but the closest I’ll probably find. And I love it. But I didn’t take a picture of it yet.

….and me and Case embarked on a conversation aptly titled “What should we do with our life?” Four hours, six pages of pro/con lists, notes, and ideas, two bowls of ice cream, and a pot of coffee later,  we had made real progress. And while we didn’t come up with any concrete conclusions, we’re still smiling and glad to be married, so I’d call that a success.