We’ve had major commitments/events each weekend for the past several weeks. It was so. so. nice to just lounge around this morning, without a schedule.

Here’s a quick update:

• I’m into the third trimester. Just under 10 weeks to go. This pregnancy has flown by – working lots of hours in the office, coming home to care for two little ones, and navigating life alongside a really cool husband – my days are full, that’s for sure. It’s a crazy arrangement, but we’re making it work.
• Baby is wonderfully active.
• His room is coming along nicely. I’ve never really set up a nursery before – it’s fun!
• We enrolled Penelope in a preschool for the fall. It’s set up to accommodate all kinds of kids, has a great teacher to student ratio, and is really close to home. She actually got the last spot. This is a huge, huge blessing! I got a little emotional imagining her gone three mornings a week, but we hope it could be really good for her. And I’m looking forward to a few mornings with Arthur while baby naps – the second kid just doesn’t get as much one-on-one time, so I think we’ll both really enjoy it.
• Speaking of Arthur, that kid is chatty… and incredibly intuitive socially.  He’s like a miniature person, holding these real, meaningful conversations. Sometimes I don’t know what to make of it. I’m thankful, and I enjoy him immensely, but it’s hard to see him pass up his older sister. When I see him helping her communicate, alerting her that someone is trying to ask her a question, or even just encouraging her to notice what’s around her, my heart swells with gratitude for such a sweet, sweet brother for her. Then he usually pushes her over and starts pinching her or something… just to bring me back to reality. But there are those moments, you know?

There’s more, to be sure, but I’ve got this uncontrollable urge to go sew some flannel burp cloths. I can’t explain it, but I really need to sign off now.

But I’m happy to report that there is no crisis of faith, or of any other nature. There is actually sweet relief in remembering that the world still spins, the sun still rises, and God still sits on the throne – even if we’re to wade through therapy/intervention stuff without the help of our local school district {or, you know, any funding}. I wondered how I’d feel if the worst-case scenario happened {I’m just an optimist that way} – and I asked {pleaded with?} God to sustain me through disappointment without allowing me to lose my footing. To help me see the value of the last few months of reading, preparing, and essentially waiting, even if after the big meeting/decision, we were back to the drawing board. To give me the wisdom and faith to know that our kid’s ability to thrive and progress doesn’t depend on this team of specialists, but on the One who created her and loves her so, so dearly.

And He did.. He answered.

But not sheepishly. He answered in such a way that my mind was flooded {overwhelmed?} with reasons to thank him, and know that he means this for good. That doesn’t always happen for me. Sometimes I muddle through self-pity, basking in my own {sinful} disappointment, and it takes a kindly person who knows me well to… not let me linger in the murk {ahem, Casey}.

As I was saying. My mind was flooded. This detour in life {hah!} has created opportunity to build relationships with people we never would’ve otherwise known very well. It’s given us a sense of heartfelt and knowing compassion for others in similar situations. It’s caused us to pause, reflect, and re-examine so many of our motivations. It’s rooted out sin. It’s made me love Casey more. It’s taught us a whole new language, and given us so much insight into the kid God has entrusted to us. It’s caused us to marvel at the timing in it all – we found out while she is so, so young. And here, surrounded by family and resources. It might’ve come at a confusing time – feeling just on the verge of launching into ministry – but how much harder would it have been to find out and leave the field abruptly to get answers or help?

And another thing. We both kind of laugh about it. I’ve written about it before. But we’re getting better at living in seasons of waiting.. more comfortable anyway. We’ve had some practice at it these last couple of years, and it almost feels normal. It hasn’t robbed us of our ambition or motivation, but rather stripped away some of our attachment to timing, or a smooth and easy path. It’s still not what I’d chose, but I can feel little seeds of patience planting in my eager-to-know-what’s-next-and-have-everything-settled-always-and-quickly-please heart. Seeds of patience, seeds of trust. Or sprouts germinating? Or something? I’m not very agricultural, truth be told. Don’t let the barn fool you.

((Here’s where the pictures start))

So like I said. This was a good week.

Arthur is proving that it isn’t too late to learn tough skills. Like how to have independent play time in a place and duration of his parent’s choosing. Poor neglected second kid – he had a tumultuous first year, and then I went back to work… so he hasn’t had the same structure or attention his big sister did. Or practice at important skills. But like I said – not too late!

And he ate shrimp pasta for breakfast one day this week. At his own request. Proving again that he is thoroughly Casey’s son.

We started implementing occupational therapy tricks we’ve learned as a more regular part of Penelope’s day. We’ve noticed such a difference in her ability to communicate, process info, and complete tasks she often struggles with. Without shutting down {or melting down, which is the next step}. It’s been incredibly encouraging – even though the “sensory diet” kinds of things we’re doing sound completely batty. If you don’t believe me, just google “sensory diet.” Yes, we are those parents. And we don’t care who knows it.

The blanket remains from a burrito/swaddle kind of game… we just do things like that in between her normal day-to-day kid stuff. And she is responding so, so, so well to it.

….and I finally obtained a camera bag that I really like. I’ll spare you my impossibly picky list of qualifications, and just tell you that I found one that’s not perfect, but the closest I’ll probably find. And I love it. But I didn’t take a picture of it yet.

….and me and Case embarked on a conversation aptly titled “What should we do with our life?” Four hours, six pages of pro/con lists, notes, and ideas, two bowls of ice cream, and a pot of coffee later,  we had made real progress. And while we didn’t come up with any concrete conclusions, we’re still smiling and glad to be married, so I’d call that a success.

“Guys, I’m coming over on Monday.. and I’m briging a mystery guest. Okay?”

Um, yes? That’s a no-brainer. Besides, this way we’d get to introduce our home group from church to the lovable Melanie.

I was sure the mystery guest was going to be her sweet baby nephew.

But it wasn’t.

It was Matty, and we were thrilled.

Casey met Matt in gymnastics when they were four or five years old {Sorry honey, if that wasn’t to be internet information. I think you, and your gymnastics skills, are awesome.}

I met Matt on my first day of school in Southern California, “Alicia, my name is Matt. Welcome to Sulphur Springs Elementary School.  You’re going to love it here.” We were eight years old. And yes, he was a very diplomatic eight.

He lives in Tennessee now with his lovely bride, so we don’t get to see him nearly as often as we’d like. But he’s the kind of friend with whom you can pick up right where you left off. That’s my favorite kind of friend.

So he came, and things were just as they always have been– good, real conversation, with a dash of music on the side.

1) I tend to kill plants. I love them, but I somehow accidentally kill them. This is especially ironic because I spent a few years working for a top-notch landscaping company. All that to say, Penelope and I started a (3 tomato plant) garden today. She was ecstatic and loved the whole process. I didn’t know how to warn her that she might be better off gardening on her own. Maybe all these years I’ve needed a trusty 3-year-old assistant? We’ll see how the tomatoes fare..

2) Gardening with a little kid is super super messy. A mid-day bath was required.

3) I love summer break. Casey has  much more time, and there are no looming deadlines. It is such a sweet, refreshing time for our family. Strange to think that our life won’t be broken up into semester-long chunks for much longer.

4) The barn is almost ready. There is a crazy last push happening as I type. I have lots of pictures to post.. that’ll be next.

5) I haven’t been very into blogging lately. I don’t know why. Just one of those normal ebbs and flows, I think. Thanks for bearing with me :).

But can I help it if a friend sends me a kind of cool link? Nope. That’s what friends are for, after all.. scouring pinterest for potentially useful/applicable links, and saving me all the trouble.

{via}

So I gave it a whirl..

Conclusions:

1) I did it too tight.

2) That girl must have crazy long hair.

3) I don’t know how to hide the rubber band. Maybe if it was looser.

4) My bedroom mirror has lots of spots.

5) I had to crop the first picture to hide the fact that my bed wasn’t made, and that there was (actually, is) a pile of laundry on the floor. Just keeping it real.

Tidbits:

–Casey is being spoiled at Shepherd’s Conference this week.

–My parents moved and I can hardly believe it.

–Arthur is walking like a crazy drunken sailor.

–Penelope informed us this week that she likes church because of the boys.

–Casey is buying a gun.

–Just kidding. Kind of.

I guess we should’ve gone over breakfast cereal in our premarital counseling? We are clearly mismatched in this regard. My favorites usually boast cartoon characters, fun new shapes, or plastic prizes in each box.

Auntie Beth understands me.

this video was taken at approximately 11pm a couple nights ago. i thought she had successfully made the switch when she was sleepy at around 730pm. i put her down. she woke up a few hours later wanting a snack and thinking she had just had a really great nap. i enjoyed her silly mood and started over the next day…

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on another happy note, i am beginning to feel better! i was hesitant to celebrate, as this is MUCH earlier than last time around… but an ultrasound today confirmed that everything is progressing as it should, and still, i’m  hardly sick at all. i’m often tired, but i have quite the appetite. after all, i have some weight loss to make up for.

in case you doubt :pregnant confession warning: casey just made me clam linguini at 11pm. and it was definitely my second dinner of the evening.

okay. back to the ultrasound. baby lemon seems to be VERY laid back. s/he was mellow, cozy, and couldn’t be bothered with such trivialities as stretching out to be measured. baby preferred to tuck a single arm behind his/her head, and curl up comfortably. case & i were both a little nervous at the start of the ultrasound.. because we were accustomed to seeing a firecracker jump and dance around (read: penelope) and didn’t know that it was okay for baby to be sleepy. we have one picture, but no real way to get it on the computer right now. it isn’t very exciting anyway… kind of like… yep… there’s a head, and there’s a body. the 20 week scan should be much more photogenic.

since this pregnancy has been dramatically different than last time (more intense sickness, but for a seemingly shorter time) we’re both thinking boy now. we’ve finally settled on a (sorry, surprise) name for either gender, and since i love them both so much, i feel more prepared for either. . something about having that name to attach makes a baby so much more endearing. the tech was pretty excited that we’re going for a delivery room surprise.

okay. so apparently this is a long post. since i haven’t blogged at all in the month of august, i suppose you all had it coming ;).

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casey started school today. this semester he is taking hebrew (intro), history (baptist), and galations (greek exegesis). the hebrew class is pretty much going to kill him, so i’m glad he’s getting it out of the way before baby comes. apparently the professor is a bit like a drill sergeant, who eases up in later semesters. this morning he spent the whole class period saying “if you are doing _______ while trying to take this class, you might as well just drop  it now.” many students looked afraid for their lives.

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MY MOM IS COMING TOMORROW. i’m super excited. we moved the day before we left for california, and hadn’t unpacked a single thing. you know those shows where people confess to being pack rats? yeah, that’s what my apartment looked like when we got back from california. just what you want to see after spending all day wrangling a toddler on a plane… while pregnant. needlesstosay, reinforcements are kindly welcomed. i can’t wait to see her. i feel a little like we’re somehow cheating… we just got back from california, and i don’t even have to get homesick before i get a visit from mom. sweet.

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i have quite a few pictures to upload from our trip… it was a wonderful, refreshing, restful time. just what we needed. we spent lots of time relaxing, a bit of time exploring la with friends who had never been, and loved being around family. it had been 7 months since we had last gone home.. entirely too long! i’ll work on getting the pictures posted throughout this week.

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i have a list of crafts i want to start that is about a mile long. i think it is time to reinstate some sort of craft night. once we settle into our semester routine, i’ll send out an email and get it started :). i feel like i’ve been isolated for so long! too much time spent on the bathroom floor the past couple of months, i’d say. time to remedy that. and see people. i’m excited :)

okay. this is reaching epic-novel length… and none of it is epic-novel worthy.. so i better just stop. go watch that video again. it’ll redeem my rambling..

• we leave for california in a couple of weeks, spend a couple of weeks there, and then the fall semester starts. insanity. casey is taking greek (galations), hebrew (intro), and history (baptists). he’s been able to get quite a bit of reading/memorizing done already, and hopes to finish even more while we’re in california (beach or poolside, of course).

• i’m sick as can be.  worse than last time. hoping for a new gameplan at my appointment next week. if not, at least i have an ultrasound to look forward to! those, and hearing the heartbeat, are always good for a motivational boost :).

• not that we’ll know till february, but i’m thinking girl. how ’bout you guys? oh, and i should mention… last time i was almost certain i was having a boy. you may want to factor that in. my intuition… not so in-tune.

• one strange difference– last time we joked that i lived on a diet confined to various forms of apples or rice. it was funny, but true. i couldn’t stomach much flavor, so blandness was key. this time i find i have a much easier time if eating foods with intense flavors. maybe they mask the taste or something? like tonight– the thought of eating roast beef was repulsive… but with horseradish, spicy mustard, onions, and smoked cheddar, i ate an entire sandwich without incident. mild food produced a fiery/spunky little girl… so maybe i’ve got a quiet/reserved one on the way? ;)

• i’m reading this book, this one, and this one, too. watching this.. and listening to this.

• casey took penelope on a panera date this morning. they shared a bagel and spent an hour watching people, pointing to stuff, giggling, and jibber-jabbering at eachother. just thinking about it melts my (overly emotional) heart a little bit.

if you made it through that lengthy, frivolous set of bullet points… well, then you deserve a reward. here you go:

(oh. and ps. please feel free to judge me. her wrinkly dress is an absolutely accurate reflection of my failure in all things domestic.. i’m too busy incubating a baby. and puking and stuff.)

So here I am again, in that same stall pattern as before. I find myself struggling to resist the temptation to wish this time away. Pregnancy isn’t glamorous for me. I don’t glow. There are certainly wondeful moments, filled with joy and anticipation, but the overarching theme is one of perseverence.

How then should I think about this trial? I realize this sounds dramatic, and when it comes down to it, there FAR worse circumstances than difficulty in pregnancy. But I know myself, and something as trivial as constant nausea/vomitting is enough to take over my thinking. My temptation is to be discontent–wallowing, complaining, or even becoming jealous of those who have easy pregnancies.

An article came to mind as I was wrestling through these thoughts.  It’s a challenge called Don’t Waste Your Cancer by Piper (with notes added by Powlison) and I found the first point particularly helpful.  Thinking about trials (not cancer, in my case) this way is counterintuitive, but thoroughly biblical. My first inclination isn’t one of gratitude and thanks, knowing that God will use this trial for good, ultimately conforming me to the image of his son… my first inclination is to wish it away, therby wasting it!

I’m also reading a book called Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. He exhorts the reader to war against the subtle sins in their own lives.. like unthankfulness, pride, and selfishness. In his chapter on discontentment he emphasises, “the importance of a firm belief in the sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness of God in ALL the circumstances of our lives.” He goes on to say that “We must believe that the Bible’s teaching about these attributes really is true, and that God has brought these difficult circumstances into our lives for His glory and our ultimate good.”

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest : ). Back to your regularly scheduled Penelope pictures…